Dating a bisexual person can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience, but it also requires understanding, respect, and sensitivity. Bisexual individuals face a range of stereotypes and misconceptions, and saying the wrong things—often unintentionally—can hurt your partner and damage the relationship. Being aware of what not to say is an essential step toward fostering trust and intimacy.
1. “Are you sure you’re really bisexual?”
Questioning someone’s sexual orientation is invalidating and disrespectful. Bisexuality is a legitimate identity. Once your partner expresses their sexual orientation, take it at face value. Repeated questioning can feel like denial of their lived experience and erode trust in your relationship.
2. “Does this mean you’re cheating or will cheat on me?”
Bisexuality does not mean that your partner is unfaithful. Many bisexual people are committed to monogamous relationships. Associating bisexuality with cheating is a harmful stereotype and can create unnecessary tension and insecurity in your relationship.
3. “So you’re just experimenting?”
Bisexuality is not a phase or an experiment. Assuming your partner is “trying it out” undermines their identity. Whether they are single or in a long-term relationship, their bisexuality is real and valid. Avoid suggesting that it’s temporary or transitional.
4. “Does this mean you want a threesome?”
Being attracted to more than one gender does not automatically mean that your partner wants a threesome or other sexual encounters outside your relationship. Consent and mutual interest dictate sexual experiences—not sexual orientation. Assuming otherwise can make your partner feel objectified or pressured.
5. “I bet you like everyone you meet.”
This stereotype of bisexual people being “greedy” or “promiscuous” is false and offensive. Attraction is selective and personal, just as it is for anyone else. Avoid generalizations based on misconceptions or media portrayals.
6. “If you’re with me, does that mean you’re straight/gay now?”
Bisexual individuals remain bisexual regardless of their current partner’s gender. Defining their orientation based on who they are dating erases their identity. Respect that they may have feelings and attractions outside the relationship, but this does not diminish their commitment to you.
7. “I can’t trust you because you’re bisexual.”
Trust should be built on communication and honesty, not stereotypes. Suggesting that bisexuality equates to untrustworthiness perpetuates bias and can seriously damage the relationship. Focus on your partner’s actions and integrity, not assumptions.
8. “Are you confused?”
Bisexuality is a clear sexual orientation, not confusion. Questions like this can make your partner feel invalidated and misunderstood. Instead, focus on learning about their experiences and listening empathetically.
How to Communicate Respectfully
- Use open-ended questions to understand your partner’s feelings and experiences.
- Avoid assumptions based on stereotypes or media portrayals.
- Focus on mutual trust, respect, and honesty in all conversations.
- Validate their identity without making it the sole topic of your discussions.
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