Is Unicorn Dating Just Another Form of Bi-Erasure?

Jun 20, 2025

In recent years, unicorn dating has gained mainstream popularity - especially within the world of threesome dating. At first glance, the idea of a couple looking for a bisexual woman to join their romantic or sexual dynamic may appear fun, adventurous, and consensual. But as this trend grows, so does the criticism: is unicorn dating a celebration of sexual freedom, or is it just another form of bi-erasure?

More importantly, is the autonomy of bisexual women being respected - or overshadowed?

What We Know About Unicorn Dating

In the dating world, a "unicorn" refers to a typically bisexual or bi-curious woman who is open to joining a couple, often for both emotional and sexual intimacy. The term originates from the idea that such a woman is "rare and magical," much like a mythical creature.

Platforms like BiCupid, which cater to unicorn dating, offer a space for open-minded individuals and couples looking for unicorns. But as more couples search for that “perfect third,” questions are emerging about who really benefits from these relationships - and whether bisexual women's needs and desires are truly being prioritized.

When Unicorn Dating Reduces Women to a Role

While bisexual women dating through unicorn dynamics can be empowering for some, others feel reduced to a fantasy or a function. Too often, unicorn dating centers the desires of the couple - particularly heterosexual or hetero-flexible pairs - while sidelining the unicorn's autonomy.

For instance:

The couple may dictate the rules, leaving the unicorn little room for boundaries or emotional input.

Bi-curious women may be seen as “experimental tools” rather than full participants.

When the relationship ends, it's often the unicorn who's excluded or blamed - despite equal emotional investment.

In these cases, the unicorn becomes an accessory to someone else's pleasure, rather than a respected and equal partner.

The Autonomy of Unicorn Women

It's essential to recognize that unicorns are people, not props. They are not there to “complete” a couple. They have their own identities, boundaries, emotional needs, and relationship expectations.

True ethical unicorn dating should celebrate the full autonomy of the third person:

She should be involved in decision-making, not just invited in under set terms.

Her emotional well-being and preferences should carry equal weight.

Consent should be ongoing and enthusiastic - not assumed because “she knew what she was getting into.”

Respecting unicorns as full participants - not side characters - helps avoid reinforcing bi-erasure and supports healthy, consensual connections.

Unicorn Dating on BiCupid: A Platform With Potential

BiCupid is one of the few platforms that centers bisexual and bi-curious individuals, offering space for unicorns to define what they're looking for. Unlike general dating apps, BiCupid lets users state their intentions clearly - whether that's finding a couple, another bisexual woman, or a solo partner.

However, even on BiCupid, users must remain mindful. Couples should avoid treating their profiles like “casting calls,” and unicorns should feel empowered to set their own boundaries and screen matches carefully.

The platform is a tool - but respectful interactions still depend on the people using it.

Reclaiming Unicorn Dating

To move unicorn dating away from problematic territory and into a space of ethical, affirming connection, both unicorns and couples need to:

Have honest conversations about boundaries, expectations, and emotional needs.

Understand that bisexual women are not inherently available or obligated to fulfill fantasies.

Be mindful of power dynamics - especially when two are a couple and one is entering solo.

By doing so, unicorn dating can become a space where bisexual women reclaim their agency - not lose it.

Final Thoughts - Bisexual Women are not Rare Accessories

Unicorn dating has the potential to be a fulfilling experience for bi-curious women and couples alike. But without conscious effort, it risks reinforcing outdated patterns of bi-erasure - where bisexual women are fetishized, sidelined, or treated as "extras."

Let's shift the narrative: bisexual women are not rare accessories - they're powerful individuals with their own stories, desires, and needs. With open communication, mutual respect, and platforms like BiCupid that support inclusive connection, unicorn dating can evolve into something meaningful and truly empowering for everyone involved.