Toxic Gen Z Dating Trend ‘Shrekking’ — LGBTQ+ Experts Explain

Sep 17, 2025

Every generation develops its own slang, dating habits, and cultural quirks. For Generation Z, memes, viral terms, and TikTok trends don’t just influence entertainment, they’ve seeped into the way young people date, flirt, and end relationships. While some trends are playful or lighthearted, others highlight the darker side of modern romance. One of the latest controversial dating behaviors gaining attention is known as “Shrekking.”

This term, rooted in internet culture, might sound humorous at first, but LGBTQ+ relationship experts and mental health professionals warn it represents a toxic dating trend that can harm emotional well-being. In this blog, we’ll explore what “Shrekking” means, why Gen Z created it, how it impacts both straight and LGBTQ+ dating communities, and what healthier alternatives look like.

What Is ‘Shrekking’?

“Shrekking” is a toxic dating trend named after the iconic animated ogre from the Shrek movie franchise. Unlike the lovable, misunderstood character, this trend isn’t about fairy-tale romance. Instead, it revolves around mockery, irony, and performative cruelty in dating scenarios.

At its core, “Shrekking” happens when:

• Someone deliberately dates or flirts with a person ironically as a joke.
• They treat the relationship like a meme, making the other person the “butt of the joke.”
• They dismiss genuine feelings under the guise of “just having fun.”
• The term draws from Shrek’s unconventional appearance—playing on the idea of someone being “undesirable” or a “joke partner.” It’s a harsh, meme-driven way of mocking individuals in a romantic or sexual context.

What makes “Shrekking” particularly insidious is its blend of humor and humiliation. In online spaces where irony and sarcasm dominate, this behavior is normalized and often defended as “just a joke,” but for those on the receiving end, it feels like betrayal and emotional exploitation.

Why ‘Shrekking’ Is Considered Toxic

Experts consider “Shrekking” toxic for several reasons:

• Emotional Manipulation: The trend uses false intimacy—leading someone to believe they’re genuinely liked, only to find out they were being mocked. This manipulation can cause deep trust issues.
• Mockery Disguised as Humor; In the name of irony, “Shrekking” reinforces body shaming, lookism, and the idea that certain people are less worthy of real love.
• Impact on Mental Health; Being “Shrekked” can severely damage self-esteem, leading to anxiety, depression, and reluctance to pursue future relationships.
• Public Humiliation: Often, these “jokes” are shared online, turning someone’s vulnerability into viral content. The victim isn’t just hurt privately but also exposed to public ridicule.

How ‘Shrekking’ Differs from Other Gen Z Dating Trends

Gen Z has created numerous terms to describe modern dating behaviors:

• Breadcrumbing: Stringing someone along with minimal effort.
• Ghosting: Disappearing from someone’s life without explanation.
• Situationships: Relationships without clear labels or commitment.
• Orbiting: Staying in someone’s digital life without real interaction.

What sets “Shrekking” apart is its performative cruelty. Unlike ghosting or breadcrumbing, which often stem from avoidance or fear of commitment, “Shrekking” is intentional and rooted in making fun of another person. It’s not passive toxicity—it’s active humiliation.

LGBTQ+ Expert Perspectives

Because many toxic dating trends emerge from online spaces where LGBTQ+ communities are also deeply present, experts within these groups have been vocal about “Shrekking.”

Dr. Jordan Michaels, LGBTQ+ Relationship Therapist:

“When a trend like ‘Shrekking’ goes viral, it reinforces harmful stereotypes. It tells people who already feel marginalized that their bodies or identities are only worthy of mockery, not love.”

Raven Torres, Queer Dating Coach:

“Queer dating culture already involves overcoming stigma, especially around looks and desirability. A trend like ‘Shrekking’ only makes dating more hostile and exclusionary.”

For LGBTQ+ daters, where community validation is already fragile, the idea of being “ironically dated” as a joke is especially cruel. It reinforces systemic issues like body shaming, racism in dating apps, and fetishization.

Psychological and Social Impact

Why does “Shrekking” resonate with Gen Z culture? The answer lies in the rise of meme-driven identity.

• Humor as a Defense Mechanism: Many Gen Z daters cope with rejection or vulnerability by cloaking everything in irony.
  The Normalization of Cruelty: When mocking becomes entertainment, empathy erodes.
• Peer Validation: Online clout gained from “exposing” a Shrekking scenario incentivizes bad behavior.

Psychologists warn that trends like these don’t just affect individuals but can shape an entire generation’s perception of intimacy, consent, and kindness.

Warning Signs of ‘Shrekking’ in Real-Life Dating

How do you know if you’re being “Shrekked”? Watch for these warning signs:

• Your partner constantly jokes about your appearance or treats you like a meme.
• They only show affection when others are watching—often with exaggerated gestures.
• You sense their interest isn’t genuine but performative.
• They share details of your relationship online in a mocking way.
• You feel more like a “bit” in their joke than a respected partner.

If multiple Warning Signs show up, it’s time to question whether you’re being treated authentically. 

How to Protect Yourself from Toxic Dating Trends

Protecting yourself from “Shrekking” and similar toxic behaviors starts with self-awareness and boundaries:

• Trust Your Gut: If affection feels forced or mocking, listen to your instincts.
• Set Clear Boundaries; Communicate what you won’t tolerate in dating behavior.
• Avoid Oversharing Too Quickly: Especially online, don’t provide ammunition for people who might use your vulnerabilities against you.
• Lean on Community: LGBTQ+ groups, online support forums, or trusted friends can validate your experiences and remind you you’re not alone.
• Prioritize Mental Health: Therapy or counseling can help rebuild confidence after being “Shrekked.”

Healthier Alternatives to Toxic Dating Behavior

Instead of falling into cruel humor, Gen Z can embrace dating practices rooted in respect and playfulness without humiliation.

• Radical Honesty: Being upfront about intentions prevents misunderstandings.
• Compassionate Humor: Jokes can build connection without tearing someone down.
• Affirmative Dating Cultures: Movements like “body positivity” and “slow dating” foster healthier intimacy.
• Queer Joy and Celebration: For LGBTQ+ daters, centering joy instead of shame helps resist toxic patterns.

Conclusion

“Shrekking” may sound like just another internet joke, but its implications for modern dating especially for Gen Z and LGBTQ+ communities are serious. It’s a toxic trend that normalizes cruelty, mocks vulnerability, and damages trust.

As online culture continues to shape how people date, it’s vital to challenge harmful behaviors and promote healthier alternatives. Dating should never be about humiliation or performance, it should be about respect, care, and mutual joy.

By recognizing “Shrekking” for what it is and choosing compassion over cruelty, Gen Z has the power to rewrite the narrative of modern relationships.