What Is Bisexuality and How Can We Come out as Bisexual?

Sep 12, 2024

What is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is understood to be the romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction towards more than one gender: men, women, and non-binary people. The most common misconception about bisexuality is that it implies an equal or simultaneous attraction to all genders, but bisexuality can vary greatly from person to person. Some may be more attracted to men rather than women, or vice versa, while others may be in a fluid attraction that changes throughout life. Setting those nuances aside, bisexuality stands out as very legitimate and valid in itself as a sexual orientation.

First and foremost, it should be realized that, as with any other identity, bisexuality too falls onto a spectrum. Those who identify as bisexual may have their preferences and experiences change over time, but the one common denominator is their potential to be interested in more than one gender. This is an orientation based on the potential for attraction, not the mandate to equally or simultaneously engage with all genders.

Understanding Bisexual Myths and Stereotypes

The sad reality, though, is that bisexuality has myths and stereotypes coming, more often than not, from within the very walls of the LGBTQ+ community. A few common misconceptions involve ideas that bisexuals are confused or just experimenting and, therefore, en route to being fully gay or straight. These further create myths that invalidate the experiences of bisexuals and make one believe that they do not fit into any community.

Other stereotypes explain that bisexuals are sexually promiscuous or unfaithful since they have an attraction to more than one gender. This injurious belief possibly arises from the misconceptions that bisexuals have to act on every attraction they feel, or this orientation makes them unable to commit to one person. Actually, bisexuals are just as capable of commitment, faithfulness, and love in relationships as everyone else.

These stereotypes feed into a form of prejudice known as "biphobia," both in the straight community and among LGBTQ+. This biphobia can show up as dismissiveness, ridicule, or invalidation of bisexual identities and does so in some very hurtful ways. This is one of the many reasons why coming out as bisexual is extremely difficult for many. 

The Importance of Coming Out

Coming out as bisexual is both powerful and frighteningly overwhelming. Coming out is a personal process, and there is no right way to do so in any universal sense. Some people may come out to everyone in their lives, and some will only ever come out to a few close people. Coming out allows bisexual individuals to live authentically, form community connections within the LGBTQ+ community, and dispel inaccuracies about their identity.

Yet again, one must keep in mind that coming out is never a necessity but rather an option. No one should ever be placed under the burden of coming out if they are not ready or if such may mean putting one's self in harm's way, compromising one's well-being, or losing any relationships. Coming out is different for everyone, and there is no timeline or "right" way to do this.

How to Come Out as Bisexual: A Step-by-Step Guide

1. Know Yourself

Before coming out to anyone, it is very important initially to sort out your own feelings regarding your bisexuality. Allow yourself time to explore and affirm your attraction to more than one gender. This can be done by reading books or articles about bisexuality, frequenting online forums and support groups, or even seeing a counselor specializing in LGBTQ+ issues.

Know that bisexuality is different for everyone, and it is totally OK if your feelings shift or evolve with more time. Knowing that your bisexuality is valid will confidently meet the process of coming out.

2. Find Support

Coming out is overwhelming in most cases, as one may not be sure if the environment around them will be able to take the news well. Before making public declarations, try to find a supportive network of friends, family, or community who will accept your bisexuality. Many cities have LGBTQ+ support groups, social media, and online dating sites like bicupid which can give you an outlet to connect with others like you.

Having such support will help one to have one's feet on the ground in case there are negative reactions or a system of challenges against such an announcement.

3. Consider Your Safety and Timing

Coming out is a very personal decision, and you really have to consider your own safety and well-being before you do such a thing. If you feel pretty certain that coming out would put you at risk in one way or another- emotionally, financially, or physically- then it's better to wait until you get yourself into a safer position. Safety will always come first.

Also, consider timing. It's said that coming out at times when it is really stressful or hard might mean that the added pressure can sometimes make the experience less comfortable. Trust your instincts. Choose a time when you feel ready.

4. Start with the People You Most Trust

If you're nervous about coming out, it's a good idea to focus on people with whom you feel safe and who you feel will be supportive. This may be a close friend, family member, or partner. Initial positive experiences of coming out to build confidence and will make you feel more comfortable about being 'out' to others.

You may want to consider how to bring up the subject. Many people find it easier to do this in straightforward, uncomplicated language: "Something important I want to share with you: I'm bisexual." You aren't obligated to explain all the intricacies of your identity; come out at a rate that feels comfortable for you and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable sharing.

5. Be Prepared for Any Reaction

While one could wish that all reactions would be in the name of acceptance and understanding, it is rather realistic to expect some reactions from all quarters. While some are surprised, want some time to process, or ask questions out of curiosity, others may react negatively or confusedly to this, probably partly due to misunderstandings about bisexuality.

Keep in mind this is about them, and it is about their ideologies, structures, or lack thereof, not to do with your worth or validity. Surround yourself with people who affirm your identity, and be prepared to educate others if necessary, but only when and if you're comfortable doing so.

6. Give Yourself Time to Adjust

Coming out is a process, not an event. You will have to come out to different people as the circumstances in your life change. Be patient with yourself as you go through this process.

Relish these moments of freedom and acceptance; do not worry if you feel anxious at times or less sure. Look after your mental and emotional well-being, and ask for help where needed.

Conclusion

Indeed, coming out as bisexual can be one of those life-changing moments that usher in authenticity and self-acceptance. However, it is also a very personal process that needs to take care of your circumstances, safety, and well-being. Bisexuality is a valid sexual orientation, and coming to the realization and sharing this part of your identity is your own choice to make. Whether you come out to a few people close to you or the world outside, remember that your identity needs love, respect, and acceptance.