Bisexual Blogs > RickColo58's blogs > Trying this as road to discovery
Trying this as road to discovery Sort by:
Members Only
Posted on Jan 31, 2014 at 04:19 AM

We'll see if anyone is interested. I really could relate more to people sexually and sensually when I discovered who I was and what I needed. Part of my goal is to continue to discover who I am.

 

Please feel free to respond or ask questions.



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Follow - email me when people comment
Members Only
Posted on Aug 30, 2014 at 08:54 AM

I hate it when I hate myself for being gay or bi or whatever I am. I thought I was accepting of myself but sometimes the cruel self-loathing peeks its head up. I'm trying to understand this and my musing may help others. 

 

This happened yesterday when I was in a depression. I think I sometimes blame my depression on my sexual orientation and wonder if I was straight if I would get depressed as often. The studies I've seen do link homosexuality and depression so we all need to be careful, support each other, and ask for help. I usually retreat in my "cave" when the feeling gets particularly bad but I forced myself to talk to my son, my wife, and a very close friend. 

 

What is interesting for me, is the self-loathing came up during my job hunt. I'm in K12 education and have been a teacher, principal, and school board member. Off an on I've felt how much some people would hate me for having the roles I do when it comes to children. I'm very careful, but the hardest times I have is when I see children that may be hurting because of what other children say or do or what I feel are hurtful comments by adults. I'm a strong advocate for tolerance. I feel my credibility has been strong because I appear to be a older, stable voice in the community with a long marriage and a happy family.

 

I recently had a bad experience on Manhunt where the person I met found out my various professional pictures and threatened to publish my man hunt pictures with these others to my school and various other places. I've also had experiences where I've felt that if the parents or community members in my area knew of my sexual identity, it would hurt the school -- people would stop sending their kids there, withdraw donations, and the situation would distract very much from our primary purpose of helping the students. The Boy Scouts position didn't help either. The flare up on the homosexuality came up at about the time I was an adult Boy Scout leader. I felt horrible and quietly did not continue. 

 

One of my greatest fears as well would be people would judge and hurt my wife with their words. She has been incredibly understanding of my sexual orientation. While our marriage hasn't been perfect, I think we're doing well. Because of the experience I had, I asked her to begin to think about how she would respond if someone came up to her and said, "I hear your husband is gay." We've come up with her saying, "Yeah. So?"

 

Yesterday, I've decided to ask for help from my contacts. I am involved with a startup school and am considering a board position, but was worried about how an accidental disclosure would affect the school. I talked with the principal and she was extremely nice. They decided to add LBGT as part of their diversity questionnaire for board members and she said another board member identifies himself as gay. She also said she knew someone who was a teacher and then a principal who was out to the community and will have him get in touch with me. 

 

I met with a HR person from a school district I've been applying for years (with no success). I told her my concerns and she has suggested two people in the district to talk to. 

 

We'll see how this journey goes. In the meantime I've accepted a job completely in a different area -- a line manufacturing job so I don't have to worry about all of this and maybe can just have fun without worrying about all of the people it would affect if people knew I was bi. I feel like my feelings toward myself are a key thing that is holding me back in my profession. The new job will give me a chance to reflect and see where and what I want to go.

 



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Aug 25, 2014 at 11:43 AM

I attended my first cuddle meeting last night . I loved the touch -- just what I needed. In addition to touch though, I learned important lessons about communicating. We need to ask what we need; be willing to accept no (or yes) without it being a message about self-worth, etc.; and be willing to negotiate if someone asks for something we can't give but where we still would like to share.

 

Rick



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Aug 17, 2014 at 07:45 AM

Bicupids -- I'm back. I had taken a leave from here while my life got sorted out. I finished my job in China and I'm back in Colorado (my home and birth state).

 

I had a wonderful time with my East-Coast girlfriend. She has helped me on my journey of rediscovery of women. It had been 6 years since I had been with a woman sexually and she was very patient with me. Sort-of. I could tell she was very anxious for my c*ck. I had so much going on in my mind though that I very much needed to take it very slowly and unwrap her like a present. One thing that I've discovered for myself is that I much prefer very slow mindful sex where I can savor the feeling the touch of another person or touching them. Sometimes this will build into a crescendo and hard driving sex. And other times it will by a beautiful soft harmony.



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Apr 14, 2014 at 04:23 AM

Thanks for the comment Bronco12. Are you originally from Colorado and a Broncos fan or did you get your name from something else?

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Apr 13, 2014 at 08:37 AM

Quoting RickColo58:

We'll see if anyone is interested. I really could relate more to people sexually and sensually when I discovered who I was and what I needed. Part of my goal is to continue to discover who I am.

 

Please feel free to respond or ask questions.



I would love to join u



Love to here how to start a mmf threesome
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 23, 2014 at 01:32 AM

Bicupids -- I'm falling more and more in love and lust as I correspond with my special person. We still are months away from meeting. Perhaps the forced correspondence telling each other what our needs and wants are -- both in and out of bed is drawing us closer. If anyone has a great or poor experience of what your first date after a long correspondence has been, please let me know.

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
1 Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 19, 2014 at 12:26 PM

Bicupids -- I'm back at work. It's been crazy after a month off for Chinese New Year. I will be in a new job next month so it feels like 3 jobs (old job, advisor for the new person taking my place, and preparing for the new job). I come home exhausted. My partner is exhausted too. What do you all do to relax, take care of yourselves, and take care of your partner? What if one of you is in the mood for sex and the other is too exhausted? Is there anything special you do?

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 16, 2014 at 09:33 AM

Bicupids -- I know that not everyone of you has found the special person or persons that you need. I wish there was some magic pixie dust that I could sprinkle over everyone here and they would automatically be linked with who and what they desired.

 

One of the things I try to instill in my students is "grit": that special characteristic that helps you through the difficult times and keeps you aiming for your goal. I think that you learn grit by working hard and accepting where you are while still allowing that where you are isn't good enough.

 

The sexual/sensual/love journey really does take a lifetime. Don't give up, keep trying.

 

A special gourmet hug for all those out there that are still searching. May my hug bring out your true grit.

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 16, 2014 at 02:06 AM

Bicupids -- Sharing your vulnerabilities to your lover seems to increase the love bond, at least it is for me and my partner. We're taking our time and slowly unwrapping each other through this site before we meet each other. This is mostly out of circumstance since we're 6000 miles a part. I'm nervous when I share something that I'm self critical about -- my gray hair, my gay/straight fantasies, or parts of my body that I'm not entirely fond of. If there ever was time to face your fears about yourself, I think it is when you are falling in love. I know you have to face whether he or she will accept you for who you are, but as I face my own fears with her, the love is growing deeper and deeper. I suppose this is the test of love and if you really go through the test you might just succeed at the end. I know that many of you are on the site for just sex and that's cool. However, if you're looking for love you need to jump out of the airplane. I actually was not looking for love when I entered this site -- more for sex, but love is finding me.

 

I don't know if this is a caution or a suggestion for you all.

 

A gourmet hug to each that reads this.

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 14, 2014 at 11:14 PM

Bicupids --  I'm feeling so in love and so full of longing, that I'm in pain, but I think it is a good pain. I believe one of the catalysts that has helped me fall in love is being open to love and not holding back. I'm saying how I feel and listening to how she feels. I don't know how this will end up. There are many complications and hurdles. I started off in a straight box for 50 years and then was in a gay box for the past 5 years. I wasn't prepared for the feelings but they're here now. This person is so wonderful and understands and encourages both parts of me.

 

The takeaway? Listen and learn as your lovers teach you more about yourself. Be open. Express yourself.

 

Gourmet hugs to all

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 13, 2014 at 04:32 PM

Bicupids -- Happy Valentine's Day!

 

List the top 10 spots on your body. Have your partner do the same. Then try to design a number of games to play with them. How many can you think of? Send your answers here.

 

Don't forget those gourmet hugs!

 

RickColo

 

 



RickColo - On the sexual road.
1 Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 12, 2014 at 06:41 PM

Bicupids -- I'm feeling very bi right now. I very much want a woman or a man -- top or bottom. Feels like I'm really surging with hormones. I've been corresponding with a very sexual/sensual woman. She has made me feel very alive.

 

Send your lover a hot note for me!

 

Gourmet Hugs to All

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 11, 2014 at 01:57 PM

Bicupids -- I feel like I'm in a sexual wasteland. If you look up this part of China on the sexual map, there certainly isn't any evidence of people like me. I'm up near Russia on the border with North Korea. On Manhunt -- the closest guys that are ever logged on are two countries away in South Korea. On Silver Daddies there isn't anyone listed within 100 miles and I can't drive here. I haven't seen anyone here that is remotely close.

 

I just started going to the gym. Most Chinese certainly are skinny. I look at the treadmills in front of me and notice that there are at least 75% with a 28" waist. Heck I'm pretty trim with a 32" waist yet I'm in the largest size in the department stores -- XXL. It's been quite awhile since I've had sex and working out has only increased my appetite. I look at the men and women and want to shout out -- "raise your hands if you want to have sex with me."

 

I'm very turned on by the guys in the shower room. They don't wear towels like we do at home. There are not even towel hooks in the shower. They seem to primp a lot more and talk to each other completely nude. Everyone is smooth -- only black hair covering their c**cks. I certainly get a lot of stares and it's not because I'm good looking. I'm just wierd, a freak. I'm sure they are wondering who is that old gray haired, gray bearded American and what is he doing in this out of the way city? I wonder if they've ever seen so much chest hair with most of it gray. I'm very shy naturally and not knowing the language is obviously another challenge.



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 10, 2014 at 01:45 PM

Bicupids -- I'm not sure if I did something wrong but a few of my posts are gone. Maybe I hit the wrong button after re-reading them. If I duplicate myself, I'm assuming you won't mind.

 

There was another post somewhere asking, who gives better head a man or a woman? The standard reply to this post is a man knows what a man likes and a woman knows what a woman likes so men give better head to men and women give better head to women. I wonder if it is as simple as that.

 

For example, some men give me much better head than others. Some men seem to give head because it means that they'll get it in return. Some men are much too rough on me. Some men take their time to explore what seems to please me. Some will even ask me what feels good.

 

I think each of us are unique enough that there is probably a separate "manual" on what pleases us. For me, I enjoy playing with a soft c**k as much as I do a hard one. I like using different strokes to see what the guy likes as well as my mouth. There is something called a hairy palm Sunday that drives me wild where you hold my c**k and use your palm in a circular motion over the tip. That drives me nuts as well as the corkscrew where you place the c**k between the second and third finger grab and twist.

 

I'm guessing a woman could give me just as much pleasure if I taught her and she was willing to learn. I'm also guessing that if a woman took the time to teach me what pleases her, I could probably do a decent job -- at least I would enjoy trying. An experienced person could use what they learn from each experience, but I still think communication trumps experience. What works on one person may not work on another.

 

However, the stakes are a bit turned if there is no communication at all. I would be doing what is enjoyable to me on the guy and have no clue on the gal if she didn't at least moan.

 

So I guess the moral of the story is gals tell us what you like and guys if you want it better than we are already doing, tell us too.

 

Gourmet Hugs to All

 

RickColo

 



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 08, 2014 at 08:30 PM

Bicupid -- This blog and corresponding with a couple of you has totally lifted me from my duldrums. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself because of nearly no sexual experience in the last 7 months and feeling really horny. I'm generally pretty shy, not very good at porn type chat, and in a conservative part of China where I don't have the opportunity to meet people much for multiple reasons. I think part of the sign of where I'm at is that there are no people within 100 miles on the dating sites I'm on :).

 

Anyway, perhaps my experience can help you if you're feeling a bit down. Even if you don't make a blog like mine and talk to whomever will listen, write down your sexual thoughts or other frustrations in a journal.

Gourment Hugs to All

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 07, 2014 at 09:45 PM

Here is a sensual exercise I made up. I call it edging with chocolate.

 

Buy a very small piece of your favorite, expensive chocolate. Unwrap it so just an edge is showing. Lightly rub your finger over the exposed chocolate and then sniff your finger and feel the chocolate go into your nostril, past your tongue and into your brain. Let the smell linger in your nose and brain.

 

Next take a whiff of the real thing. Be one with the chocolate. Taste all of the varied ingredients. Stay with the sensations for as long as you can before you take another whiff. Repeat and enjoy.

 

After you can't stand it any more you can take one lick and let the taste stimulate your tongue and brain.

 

Just when you think you have to eat the whole thing, wrap it slowly and save it for later.

 

See how long you can last without going for the big O...

 

I'm dedicating this blog entry to a very special person I met here. We are kindred spirits. We both like chocolate :).

 

FYI -- This this is what I learned through Body Electric regarding sex and sensuality, but I've made modifications for chocolate.



RickColo - On the sexual road.
Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 07, 2014 at 06:01 PM

Shauna -- So glad to hear that your daughter felt safe enough with you to come out and it is fun to know the back story that you haven't come out to her yet. 16 is such a tender age and I think so important for us parents to understand the struggles and listen deeply to where our children are at.

 

There is a movie (can't remember which one at the moment) where the main theme is that the son is worried about telling his parents he is gay. He frets and frets about it -- even worrying that they will disown him. When he finally tells them they are relieved and had known it for a long time.

 

Sometimes, I wish I had the courage to tell my parents in my teens. When I finally did tell my dad (after my mom had died) he said they had discussed it among themselves and wondered if I were gay. I know now that my parents would have embraced me perhaps even more. Since this was before the AIDS epidemic, I wonder if I would be alive now to be writing this.

 

Good luck with your own daughter. I'm sure you'll find the best message to give her for her own sexual growth and development.

 

RickColo



RickColo - On the sexual road.
1 Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 07, 2014 at 04:59 PM

Quoting RickColo58:

Bicupids -- I wonder how much everyone is "out" to their older children about sex -- especially those of us that are gay or bi. I fretted about telling my boys after I came out to my wife. My sons were 17 and 15. The older son was really appreciative and said he hadn't had enough experience to know, and he wasn't certain he was bi or not. He said my telling him gave him permission to be whoever he needed to be. I wish I had been open enough to explore my sexuality when I was younger so I'm especially happy for those here in their late teens and early 20's that they have come to this site.

 

Please be safe out there -- with your physical and mental health.



A few months ago, my 16 year old came out to me and my husband as bi. We have raised our children to be who they are, reinforcing our love for them no matter what their sexual preferences are. I have not yet came out with her, but it will come soon enough. Just as I suspected with her, I'm sure she is suspicious of me. :-).  I'm enjoying your blog. Keep it up.

 

Shauna


Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Feb 07, 2014 at 03:35 PM

Bicupids--I've realized how liberating and stimulating it is just talking about sex. I don't mean cyber-sex which sometimes has a fun, entertaining side to it. Instead I'm talking about what it means to be sexual, what you enjoy, past sexual experiences, questions you have, doubts, etc. I can do this in the blog and I appreciate when one of you responds so I know someone is reading. I think it takes a special relationship where you can talk about sex as freely as you do.

 

Thanks for supporting me on my journey. I wish you well on yours.



RickColo - On the sexual road.
1 Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Follow - email me when people comment