im so scared and desperate!! Bisexual troubles

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 12, 2013 at 07:06 PM

    i am living with my fiancee (who is a man ) i love him but i dont feel like i can tell him i like women too. Its strange but when he asked me if i would ever kiss a woman i rapidly blurted out OMG NOOOO ... im so scared to tell anyone cause my family is not open minded so it traumatized me to the point that i have to keep it to myself . I love my fiancee but i would really like to have a girl/girl experience to figure it out if that is what i like or atleast get it out of my system. im desperate to find a friend who is also bisexual so that i can express my feelings and get some feedback. i need advice and someone to hang out with and be myself with !!!
  • 4Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 05, 2014 at 07:40 PM

    First thing is to be honest with yourself.  You know what you need.  If you are curious you will remain curious.  It will never go away no matter how hard you try.  Trust me on that one.  I told my husband that I kissed a girl...of course down the road into our marriage he would joke around when appropriate how I'd probably leave him for a girl...

    Because I knew him...I knew he said that because of his own insecurities.  The thing here is that you need to ask yourself what it is you have to be afraid of?  You can't help just can't.  You're not a bad person because you feel the way you do.  If you let him know, that just makes you even more of a better person because of your honesty instead of keeping it within.  And who knows..he may be more of a supporter.  I don't know. Only you will!


    Good luck! ^_^*

    from San Diego

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 05, 2014 at 07:32 PM

    Oh honey, calm down! You might ask your boyfriend again and ask him what he ment by kissing another girl. Then say something like "Well I got that caught in my brain, and I feel it might be exciting, and see what it would be like. Before he answers ask him if he has ever thought about kissing a boy and if he wonders what it would be like. Don't be shy. Admit you have been thinking about it and thought  it might be fun and you would like to know what It's like. At this point you ask him if he thought about it. He will automatically say no, but you come back and ask why! Tell him it's OK to be curious. And it's OK to like it ! Then take him and love him up really good. Then leave it alone. And let him think. Then after a few days line up something for your self. And don't hide it. Then confront him and tell him he can watch. He will think this is hot. Let a week pass. And see what he thought about it. If he still refuses, what would would you do? Well why not set him up. Explain to bi boy you find and explain to him what's going on. invite him over, and the girl you made out with and all be totally naked. When he comes home and sees all the nude bodies, you introduce all that are their. And while your talking, lead him to the bed. As your getting him out of his clothes.Give him a heart felt hug and kiss and pass him off to the bi boy. Before hand you need to instruct him on how to stimulate him before jumping into bed. Hopefully you can developed this into your life style.

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 08, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    I know how you feel. You shouldn't be afraid to tell your boyfriend. Hell. Most guys like it any ways.. Lol. However. Families are something else entirely. If you like men also. Sometimes there's no reason to tell them its just important you're happy with yourself.your sexuality..Feel free to e mail me. Have u ever been with a girl or is it just curiosity?

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 21, 2013 at 05:26 PM

    I feel your pain. I am a bi male who got married to a wonderful woman. I had always sensed that she has had bisexual experiences but she never came out and told me. On one date, we saw to women kissing and she proclaimed to be grossed out. However, it didn't feel sincere. She also seemed to know a lot about the lesbian community. 
    However, I never told her that I had several bisexual experiences because I feared I was going to be rejected. So I suppressed it. I never ever cheated on her, but I can't change the way I am, I will always be bisexual. So over the years I slowly hinted to her, certain things that revealed my true nature.
    The first time I did this is when I noticed that she was wearing a really nice pair of panties. I touched them, and told her how much I liked them. She then asked me if I ever tried on panties. I had enough nerve to say "yes". She started getting really interested and asked me what kind. I told her that I enjoyed pink or white laced panties. This opened the door for me to  express my desire to wear women's clothing, bras, lingerie, panties, skirts. She started to accept the fact that on occassion, I would take off her panties and put them on me. She didn't mind.
    The second time I revealed something was when we were watching porn together and I was stroking myself. I told her that I thought the male penis was beautiful and I enjoyed seeing it in videos. She wasn't grossed out at all, but was curious as to why I felt this way.
    Some months later, when we were in the heat of making love, she told me that she use to fantasize about making love to women. I told her that I used to fantasize about making lvoe to men. She was surprised, but not replused. 
    Again, a few months later, when we were making love together, she asked me what my fantasies were, and I told her I wanted to suck cock. She then asked me to describe what I would do if I were with a man. I gave here a very detailed description about that possible experience. She was a little surprised, probably because I described the homosexual experience all too well. However, she didn't reject me.
    The last time we were together in bed, I told her that I am bisexual. I told her why I thought that, mainly that I was interested in the male, and female organs, from the very beginning of my sexual awakening. I didn't tell her that I had made love to several men in the past. However, it is only a matter of time before I reveal this. I still suspect her of having lesbian affairs, but she isn't ready to admit that if it was true. 
    The whole point of this is that it takes time. What did I do during that time? I loved her completely, spoiled her, treated her with the utmost respect, never cheated on her and made her feel that she was #1. She grew to love me so much, that she accepts me for whoever I am. 
    I hope this makes sense and helps. Just remember, if its worth it, take the time to develop your relationship if you feel that you can't be open right now about your secuality. Give it time. I am hopeful that if my wife continues to accept me and wants to let me express myself, she will eventually want me to be with another man. I would also want her to be with another woman if that is her choice. However, I will never do anything behind her back, and preferrably, I would do it with her in the room.