I have been dating my girl for over 5 years, and I love her deeply. However, since i was young I have been mostly attracted to guys. I get crushes on guys in my classes, and i jerk off to the thought of guys. However, I love my girlfriend so much that the mere thought of telling her, and breaking her heart, makes me depressed and feel so isolated. She is expecting a ring soon, and I don't know what to do. If i don't marry her, she will leave. If I let her go, I may never find someone else to love again. I am so confused. Comments and feedback are welcome.
From reading your message I believe that you are a 4 for sure and possibly a 5.-on the Kinsey scale. You my friend have what is called a Mixed Relationship; possibly soon to be Mixed Marriage. This is where one mate/spouse/partner is gay and the other is straight. It can also be where one partner is straight and the other is bi. Also, it can be where one partner is gay and the other is bi. I'ld advise that you do tell your girlfriend the truth. Before you tell her of your feelings that you've always had towards/for men, tell her that you care for and love her immensely and always have. Tell her that your feelings towards/for men have nothing to do with the love you have for her. Reassure her that she's beautiful inside and out! If you find her sexually appealing tell her that aswell. Do tell her the truth, even if you fear the reaction(s).- Honesty is the best policy! Good luck and take care.
get a good clean male friend who has the same thoughts and dare to suck each other off to see if it's just a thrill you as a horn dog need or if it is something you want to pursue regularly. If you find that it's not something that you can get out of your system or it's not just a once in a while horny thrill, you'd best be honest to your gf so you don't hurt her if you decide to leave for a guy