She think's she's bi....... why? Friendship

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 05, 2005 at 01:16 PM

    I need your advice and/or input to my latest discovery..... My 11 year old daughter is claiming to be bi. She dose'nt know that I stumbled upon this new news of hers, and I think I can maybe help her in opening up and telling me one day soon... HELP!
  • 8Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 25, 2007 at 09:28 AM

    I remember fantasizing I was a Lesbian....I was in Fourth Grade.I don't know your daughter, so I can't say it's 'just a phase', but that might be the case. You're asking why, I'd be curious what the reasons are she gives you. Does she go to a public school?....there were bullies in my me, it is difficult imagining relationships with guys, if the guys you are exposed to make you sick just to look at.

    So, where did she pick the thought of being bi?....was it from following the career of one of the "pop" stars?

    Maybe your daughter figures it is best to be liked by both guys and girls.....she announces she is bi....but what it means is she wants to be likeable to both, and wants both as friends.

    Just sharing some reactions with you.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 09, 2007 at 12:59 PM

    I would approach her about it. But not to let her know that you know about her problem. Try to approach her in a way, that shes comfortable, and listen to what she says.
  • View author's info Posted on May 04, 2006 at 10:37 AM

    I would definitely just let her grow up a bit and explore her feelings before jumping to any action. She's only 11, and so many things can change. I wouldn't suggest mentioning anything to her because it will only make her suspect that you were snooping, and that will break down the trust that you two have now. Who knows.. she may have seen it on tv or something and is just feeling curious. Just let things work themselves out for a while.
    Good Luck!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 22, 2006 at 02:56 PM

    if you want to know why it's in your DNA. Also I remember likeing a bo in 3rd grade and a girl in she could of been like that. It seem's your open-minded which is AWESOME. If you wish to speak about her maybe just say you know honey this guy in arizona or someting got beat up b/c he was gay and i just don't understand why peope don't like it so much. Then she'll feel confrable around you b/c now she sees your open minded. So then when she dose get a g/f sbe won't be terrified to tell you for she belive you'll kick her out or beat her.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 03, 2006 at 11:04 AM

    You mentioned that you "stumbled on this new news", yikes. On one hand if you bring the potential of her bi-ness up to her then she might be upset; feeling like her privacy has been invaded. On the other hand, if you do not mention things, wait for her to come to you about this, then you can continue to monitor her from a short distance. Regardless of how you found out, she might not be ready to talk openly with you on this subject. When my kids were that age, they didn't want to have these type of conversations with me, even though I always keep an anything goes/open topic discussion practice in my our home. I think that age appropriate conversations with kids is a great way to communicate with them. Hope everything goes well there...seems like she is a very bright child who is at an impressionable age. *Being a mom sure is a balancing act at times. :) Take care.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 02, 2006 at 11:41 PM

    I would discuss it without it being personal. "you know some people like men, some like women and some like both. Isn't that interesting? They can't choose." Then she'll know she can ask you questions about it. Just open the door. She'll step through when she's ready.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 27, 2005 at 09:39 PM

    I think that talking to an 11 yr old about being bi ect is a bit too soon. As we all know that when we are younger, we have all kinds of emotions running through us. I would let her be herself and let her grow up a bit first.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 22, 2005 at 11:17 AM

    easy. just bring up the subject, talk about it. be totally honest. what more can you give as a parent?

    best of luck.